The loss of someone important

My grandma, Josephine Gordillo Carrion Warren’s death in 2004, although sad and tragic, was also an important and beautiful lesson about family, love and life. My grandma had battled breast cancer, which metastasized into bone cancer, for 10 years. She had gone through four rounds of chemotherapy and radiation, and though her will to live was stronger than most, on top of a car accident that left her spine slightly detached, the last couldn’t round of chemo was too much for her frail body to withstand. Two weeks before the dreaded day she left this earth I had spoken with my grandma on the phone and I didn’t feel there was any cause to be concerned. My mom knew something was wrong, however, and decided it was time for her to drive from Mississippi to Arizona, to be with her mother in case something happened. As my mom drove through the state of New Mexico she saw an abnormal amount of shooting stars in the sky and in her heart she knew it was no coincidence that all those beautiful bright stars were fading out and dying on this particular journey. After the passing of my grandfather, Herbert Wayne Warren, we had all started to believe that the frequent dragonfly sightings we had been witnessing was a sign that my grandpa was around us, watching over us all. My grandma liked this idea and it kept her spirits up and she was positive that this belief had helped her overcome a case of pnemonia when the cards looked as if they were stacked against her. Once my mom arrived and saw the condition my grandma was in, she decided it was time to call the rest of the family. I was in disbelief when I heard this could possibly be the last time I was going to see my grandma, and it was then that I made the decision that my daughter, who was six years old at the time, should also be there say her goodbyes. My grandma passed away within 24 hours of me getting there. She had wanted to be at home when she died and we all respected her wishes. Her family stood around her, me, my aunts, uncle, mom, cousins, step dad and my daughter all stood around her bed holding hands and talking to her, telling her it was ok to pass over and that we would all be alright. As we were standing there talking to her, hands locked in love, the dragonfly wind chime that she had hung on the lamp next to her bed began to move, and the dragonfly nightlight that was plugged into the wall next to her began to blink on and off, repeatedly. We all saw these mysterious things happening and knew that her time with us was coming to an end. Our family was, of course, very upset and everyone tried to busy themselves the best way they knew how, as my cousin Brent and I sat with our grandma, holding her hands. I had been having a difficult time talking to her and being near her because this frail, unresponsive lady lying in that that bed was not the grandma I knew and loved, but I knew it was important to be there with her at that moment. That is a choice I will never regret because as we sat with her, holding her hands and feeding her ice chips, my 68 year old grandmother took her last breath. There was instantly an emotional wave of tears and hugs that flows over my family members as we all tried to come to terms with the fact that she was gone. We sent my daughter and my eight year old cousin into my grandma’s bedroom to watch cartoons as we all broke down and after a short time passed, my daughter came out and said that she she saw something outside. One by one my family members and I followed her into the bedroom and once we looked out the window, there was no doubt, there was a cross shining brightly and boldly across the moon. I went into other rooms in the house, looking out the windows and ran even ran outside to see if it could be seen from there, but the only place we could see this brilliant and comforting sign, was from my grandma’s bedroom window. Later that evening, I had an overwhelming urge to write a poem about my grandma’s death, so I grabbed a pen and paper and went in her room, shut the door and lay on her bed. Thoughts and memories flooded my head as the words poured onto the paper, with no hesitation. That poem that I wrote in my grandma’s loving memory, was posted in the newspaper along with her obituary. I was given the honor of selecting my grandmother’s urn, and since she loved hummingbirds, I chose a beautiful one with quick and colorful creatures on it. Whenever I am visited by a hummingbird or dragonfly I think of my grandparents and feel that they are there with me. The whole experience of my grandma’s death affected not only the family, but also friends and hospice workers, who witnessed all the strange and unexplainable things that happened during her passing. My grandmother had determination and chose to take a positive attitude towards everything in her life, even as her body was slowly dying. She had always wanted to be a doctor, but being born in the 30’s made it difficult for her as a woman. This didn’t stop her from making a lasting impression on her doctor though. Her doctor had given a speech about my grandma at a medical convention he had attended, because she was remarkable and was a survivor with a will to live unlike any he had ever seen. It is not said very often, but my grandmother’s death was a thing of joy and beauty. In her passing, she was able to show us things that gave us hope and instilled beliefs into members of my family who had none before. We all took something away from this experience that will stay with us until our time on this planet has run out , and I hope at that time, I am able to leave such a powerful and unforgettable impression. I miss my grandparents every day, but when I see hummingbird hover on my porch for a few moments, or when a dragonfly flies inside my house on a warm summer day, I just smile, knowing they are stopping by to say hello.